Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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