im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Hippo gnu deer
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
