Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
