I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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