So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
