No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
