like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
