I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
