If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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