I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
