Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
this is an emotional support booty call
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize