He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
