Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dicks are not precious.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
