Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
there is glitter all over my balls
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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