If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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