"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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