We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
