You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
