She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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