I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
