i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
