The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
