i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
