You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
