She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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