I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
