I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
