"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
