none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
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Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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