Your mouth is God's brothel.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
