Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I cut my penus on the lid.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
