Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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