Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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