just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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