explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
