Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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