Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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