GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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