Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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