ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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