It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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