ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
