Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
