NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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