i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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