Christians are straight up FREAKS
The best revenge is premature balding
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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