Where did you get a picture of my penis
Porn is love you can see.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
