I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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