I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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