Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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