Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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