She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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