only if we run a train.
done.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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