you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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