meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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