I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
