I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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