remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
