also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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