There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
