Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
