woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize