So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize