It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
