Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
