im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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